Money has no memory. Experience has. You will never know what the total cost of your education was, but for a lifetime you will recall and relive the memories of schools and colleges. Few years from now, you will forget the amount you paid to settle the hospitalization bill, but will ever cherish having saved your mother's life or the life you get to live with the just born. You won't remember the cost of your honeymoon, but to the last breath remember the experiences of the bliss of togetherness. Money has no memory. Experience has.
Good times and bad times, times of prosperity and times of poverty, times when the future looked so secure and times when you didn't know from where the tomorrow will come... life has been in one way or the other a roller-coaster ride for everyone. Beyond all that abundance and beyond all that deprivation, what remains is the memory of experiences. Sometimes the wallet was full... sometimes even the pocket was empty. There was enough and you still had reasons to frown. There wasn't enough and you still had reasons to smile. Today, you can look back with tears of gratitude for all the times you had laughed together, and also look back with a smile at all the times you cried alone. All in all, life filled you with experiences to create a history of your own self, and you alone can remember them all.
The first time you balanced yourself on your cycle without support... The first time she said 'yes' and it was two years since you proposed... The first cry... the first steps... the first word... the first kiss... all of your child... The first gift you bought for your parents and the first gift your daughter gave you... The first award... the first public appreciation. .. the first stage performance. .. And the list is endless... Experiences, with timeless memory... No denying that anything that's material cost money, but the fact remains the cost of the experience will be forgotten, but the experience never.
So, what if it's economic recession? Let it be, but let there not be a recession to the quality of your life. You can still take your parents, if not on a pilgrimage, at least to the local temple. You can still play with your children, if not on an international holiday, at least in the local park. It doesn't cost money to lie down or to take a loved one onto your lap. Nice time to train the employees, create leadership availability and be ready for the wonderful times when they arrive. Hey! Aspects like your health, knowledge development and spiritual growth are not economy dependent.
Time will pass... economy will revive... currency will soon be in current... and in all this; I don't want you to look back and realize you did nothing but stayed in gloom. Recession can make you lose out on money. Let it not make you lose out on experiences. .. If you are not happy with what you have, no matter how much more you have, you will still not be happy.
Make a statement with the way you live your life: How I feel has nothing to do with how much I have.
Cheers!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Real - Hell- Jaan
In the name of Religion...
In the past few years when ever one has watched a BBC or CNN one would‘ve come across the same fight over religion or wars over communalism.
I was born into a Hindu family, parents who were well read in scriptures and holy books.
Educated through out in a Catholic convent and lived a major part of my life in the Middle East.
Religious books like Geeta, Quran, Bible are kept in the same platform at home.
At a point in my life I knew more Christmas carols than bhajans, knew more than 6 languages. We respected the month of Ramadan by not eating in public for almost 40 days, celebrated Eid by buying new clothes n eating saywai. Living in USA for the past one year also got us introduced to Thanksgiving, Halloween and a new way of celebrating Christmas.
Surprisingly most religions and communities love to spread joy during their festivals, celebrated it with new gifts, inviting friends/ family over, and made sweets. The common feeling is that they would thank god for all that they’ve got. Most prayers mean the same thing. Each mantra, ayaatee or verse conveys the same message. We all use beaded threads to chant our special messages to god. We all have confessions. Yes as kids we studied all this. Over the years we forget and learn to fight for our own way of doing things. I can’t understand why is there such a big fight for own communities, a game plan for getting highest number of people to follow.
In the past few years when ever one has watched a BBC or CNN one would‘ve come across the same fight over religion or wars over communalism.
I was born into a Hindu family, parents who were well read in scriptures and holy books.
Educated through out in a Catholic convent and lived a major part of my life in the Middle East.
Religious books like Geeta, Quran, Bible are kept in the same platform at home.
At a point in my life I knew more Christmas carols than bhajans, knew more than 6 languages. We respected the month of Ramadan by not eating in public for almost 40 days, celebrated Eid by buying new clothes n eating saywai. Living in USA for the past one year also got us introduced to Thanksgiving, Halloween and a new way of celebrating Christmas.
Surprisingly most religions and communities love to spread joy during their festivals, celebrated it with new gifts, inviting friends/ family over, and made sweets. The common feeling is that they would thank god for all that they’ve got. Most prayers mean the same thing. Each mantra, ayaatee or verse conveys the same message. We all use beaded threads to chant our special messages to god. We all have confessions. Yes as kids we studied all this. Over the years we forget and learn to fight for our own way of doing things. I can’t understand why is there such a big fight for own communities, a game plan for getting highest number of people to follow.
Friday, May 29, 2009
The complete Circle of Womanhood
Long before I knew what it means to be a woman, I guessed that things were meant to be different in my life compared to the 50% of the short haired, shorts wearing, (who hate girls till they are 12 -post that curiosity pressed them to explore), cricket playing Janta.
Remember my grand mom told me to make my first chapatti when I was 9 years old, telling me that I‘d be soon gone to the OTHER FAMILY before they’d realize it. :) (Though from her time to my time things had changed a LOT– or so I thought). Thanks to her ‘cooking’ is one of my easiest and most interesting tasks of the day.
It took me a while to realize that things can never inherently change, a girl is a girl and a boy is a boy.But the difference is greater than playing with dolls vs playing with cars.
Have definitely come a long way since then. Not only has it been an interesting journey but also I feel special on being a woman.
The power of creation is the strongest power that one can have, and I did posses that, not to create a meal, a home, a relationship, but to create life itself. It still intrigue’s me how life can be created inside me and soon it will be a living, breathing, walking, talking person who will have a life of its own.
My pregnancy initially got me a little worked up like most woman. The world of the unexplored, how much ever you wanted to be a mother, being pregnant has its own set of learning’s. The fear of going wrong, of keeping a healthy baby, the responsibility of creating life…etc. The stories of other’s only add fuel to the fire.( Really!!! Is that how it is supposed to be!!) Lots of ‘cautions’ will be spelled out. Things to avoid, things to keep away in pregnancy, lucky charms to tie in places for good wishes… lalal lalal. Most of these things are all about faith. Of course reading a few books and talking to people will help in making things easier. You’ll know a bit about what to expect. But absorb only as much as you can digest in one gulp… don’t overeat on information.
As the pregnancy progresses, you'll realize much before theories on Lamaze, Kaigal, Bradley, nutrition, prenatal, post natal’s do’s and don’ts were out, babies were born. Some of the smartest, most revolutionary and creative innovators were born. This is most natural process created by god. So nothing to fret about, relax, listen to your body and enjoy every phase of pregnancy. Being HAPPY and POSITIVE is the best medicine that I can take, no amount of multivitamin can give me that strength.Like most beautiful events in your life this is not going to repeat itself.
A couple of years ago, when our friends or family would tell us that it’s a beautiful feeling to have a baby, we would think, we knew what you are talking about, cos we both loved being with kids. Only to realize now, we had no idea.The initial scans and heart beats of the baby only leave me teary. Wonder how it’s going to be to see someone like us in flesh. Also there is no such thing as being prepared for a baby, financially, mentally or physically. Once you have it things do shape up for you.
The other important thing that we felt about having a baby is that we remember our parents more than ever. Thank them more than ever, respect them, think about how they would have played the role so flawlessly without a mistake. They say once the baby is born you ll literally worship your parents . (I am not surprised).
Like all other roles in my life, I would like to give this role my complete energy, focus and love.
Awaiting the arrival...
Remember my grand mom told me to make my first chapatti when I was 9 years old, telling me that I‘d be soon gone to the OTHER FAMILY before they’d realize it. :) (Though from her time to my time things had changed a LOT– or so I thought). Thanks to her ‘cooking’ is one of my easiest and most interesting tasks of the day.
It took me a while to realize that things can never inherently change, a girl is a girl and a boy is a boy.But the difference is greater than playing with dolls vs playing with cars.
Have definitely come a long way since then. Not only has it been an interesting journey but also I feel special on being a woman.
The power of creation is the strongest power that one can have, and I did posses that, not to create a meal, a home, a relationship, but to create life itself. It still intrigue’s me how life can be created inside me and soon it will be a living, breathing, walking, talking person who will have a life of its own.
My pregnancy initially got me a little worked up like most woman. The world of the unexplored, how much ever you wanted to be a mother, being pregnant has its own set of learning’s. The fear of going wrong, of keeping a healthy baby, the responsibility of creating life…etc. The stories of other’s only add fuel to the fire.( Really!!! Is that how it is supposed to be!!) Lots of ‘cautions’ will be spelled out. Things to avoid, things to keep away in pregnancy, lucky charms to tie in places for good wishes… lalal lalal. Most of these things are all about faith. Of course reading a few books and talking to people will help in making things easier. You’ll know a bit about what to expect. But absorb only as much as you can digest in one gulp… don’t overeat on information.
As the pregnancy progresses, you'll realize much before theories on Lamaze, Kaigal, Bradley, nutrition, prenatal, post natal’s do’s and don’ts were out, babies were born. Some of the smartest, most revolutionary and creative innovators were born. This is most natural process created by god. So nothing to fret about, relax, listen to your body and enjoy every phase of pregnancy. Being HAPPY and POSITIVE is the best medicine that I can take, no amount of multivitamin can give me that strength.Like most beautiful events in your life this is not going to repeat itself.
A couple of years ago, when our friends or family would tell us that it’s a beautiful feeling to have a baby, we would think, we knew what you are talking about, cos we both loved being with kids. Only to realize now, we had no idea.The initial scans and heart beats of the baby only leave me teary. Wonder how it’s going to be to see someone like us in flesh. Also there is no such thing as being prepared for a baby, financially, mentally or physically. Once you have it things do shape up for you.
The other important thing that we felt about having a baby is that we remember our parents more than ever. Thank them more than ever, respect them, think about how they would have played the role so flawlessly without a mistake. They say once the baby is born you ll literally worship your parents . (I am not surprised).
Like all other roles in my life, I would like to give this role my complete energy, focus and love.
Awaiting the arrival...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Time the most Expensive Investment
Much before the 21st Century started, each one was filled in with thoughts of excitement, like something big is on its way. It was believed that this era will bring in the highest form of technology known to mankind. We will be a greater species who would achieve all they desire.
Come the Millennium ...things did change for ever, those present at that time witnessed a century turn....(lucky ones). Babies born on
Yes, it was a new way of life, slowly our fingers and palms got the strength to control everything. Kar lo Duniya muthi mai was not a random hypothetical slogan but a fact. But did we know the cost to benefit analysis of this situation.
“Hey ping me on goog”
“I m mobile, buzz me”
“Catch you, sometime………..”
“Well, I m in three continents in the next three day…. Will text u wen I arrive”
One of my Uncles used to say “ Y do u guys text, u communicate only one way, n leave the other person guessing…??” And that is so rite, in case I want to meet up for coffee, I’d say… “lets meet up for coffee at Starbucks, at 5”…..thats it … like my social obligation ends here… other person is still guessing....and wat abt the if’s and but’s. Like is the phone working in the first place, did the message reach the person. Well does one really care!!!!
As kids we played, fought and learned with the other kids each day around us. There was a playing time each day around sun set in the sands , gardens, there was running, and so much more.( we had to be forced back home to homework)
But now we can play in our rooms with a virtual person, and we love it. He literally guides me through everything, and I follow with zilch creativity and lack of personal activity, I am hooked to it.
It is sad to say that we plan everything to our convenience, like to its ‘made to order’. Our time is our time, we wud use it the way we like, we wud like to socialize the way we can, we wud like to be our own little god.
Most people who read this will say, how can we take time out from our busy schedule to write a letter??? Life is passing us by so fast and if we r not in the race then someone else is. And if I m expected to have this personal touch business , play in the sands and make castles… and blah blah … plzzz, gimme a break- this sentence just convinced me to be the 21st century person again, where nothing matters… ‘I’ is the centre of my world. We cant change we are too boggled down by the thought 'lack of time'.
The only other thing we can change is our perception of anyone who is giving their time to us, appreciate that, be touched by the fact that he is investing on you, how ever you are connected, this person has spend some time being with or doing something for you.
Our parents for example, and trust me the only other thing that we can make them happy with, & give them, is ‘our time’.
This is not a senti blog, this is reality check blog…. Is, time that we think we are using so ‘effectively’ (we like to believe) actually useful…. Are we missing out on the more important things in life!!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Auditions...A new begining!!
Theater, singing, dancing, Organizing, being the MC at events, elocutions & debates have always been my area of excellence since I was born. Basically extra curricular was my curriculum.
When ever I joined a school, college or work place, its was unsaid that I would take charge and do all this nautanki as my family puts it.
Always told my family, if I was born now in the REALITY TELEVISION era, I would ve been an teenage Icon... ..( n they had no choice but to believe me)
So, recently I enrolled for a theater group (
They emailed saying they need actors to auditions for a serious woman centric play in Hindi. In my head I was already the central character of the play ... thought of doing the meena kumari act or the Rekha.. it all looked so easy in my head.
But to my surprise, I cud not fit into the character, cud not get the feel, heheheh:) was thinking of Amitabh Bacchan in AGNI PATH, how do these guys into the groove. After weeks of thinking and failing to act, I realized 'GEET' from Jab we met is me.. ….so lets break a leg!!
I cant b the central character, is not me(this took two and a half weeks). Suddenly my appreciation for all rani mukerjees of industry was somewhere up there. More so
Somewhere also felt good, thank god didn’t pursue acting, or wud not even ve a job( err... no harm done ..still don’t ve one.. n with the slump in the banking industry... looks like two year holiday)
On the day of the audition, my husband accompanied me...( I told him don’t be there in the room when I m doing the auditions cos, it sorta make me conscious) So well we walked into the room full of girls and 30 other people...Are you serious, dude I m in California!!!!
Who wants to do a play in Hindi... firstly who knows Hindi here.... this was freaking me out...
It was a huge audi, and supposedly each one will audition in front of all...THAT DOES IT !!
My jaws dropped n probably got locked, you firstly don’t ask me to audition, I ve done acting all my life. Then if you do, you don’t invite the whole world...
So well, I went 5 or 6th, don’t recall...and walked out...
Later some 4 or 5 people were called to do the Hindi reading bit, (which I can’t read well, so well Rishi helped me out. thank god he was there, this play was done from the Mahabharat era so the words were tough, as usual, I wrote it done in Hinglish).
I can't say at this point how it went, had told my whole family about so I better be through this.
When I came back home, realized, no matter who you are and what you have achieved in life, situations will again and again ask for to prove yourself. Its never a smooth transition when you move into something new but it is up to you to take the challenge and move ahead through it all.
And the other thing, never under estimate the teenage Icons on T.V..., and what they do, the spirit & grit they come with on stage...:)
Three days later, mail came in, was invited to the first rehearsal, (all the guys and girls were from the IT industry, what was I expecting in the BAY area). It was fun being a part of this gang, finally I had proved my worth, in my head:).
On my way back, also realized one thing, there are some things in life you just want for your self, so you can feel good abt them, to feel that you were right when you thought you were right.
Though I didn’t pursue the role as the actress, I m now on the production team doing all the dirty work... behind the scenes n also on the scene.
It is an awesome experience.
To all my younger cousins, siblings…grab all opportunities coming your way, do what ever you want to NOW!! (Hey in the right spirit) Cheers..
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Umm- Err- Ikka, This is your Victory!
Its been two days, I ve been glued to a news channel like its my fav reality show live on TV. Never before have been so interested in politics. Have not moved outta house,( I need to get out at least once for grocery, gym, walks, socializing etc).But 4th Nov 2008 is some day!! Never could imagine that wud be so involved with a Win so strong.
This was a historical event one that our children will study in their books years from now.We studied of Martin Luther King, for causes that he felt passionate about....and here I was seeing sorta paradox in less than half a century.
Feel lucky to have witnessed the transition. A baby of the 80's I feel is the most fortunate, we moved from the bell bottom's, flares to hot pants to bikini's to tube tops..to nothing... then again back to flares etc etc...the same with our thought process and society. We have the values of the old and yet the freshness, eagerness to learn and energy of the youth. Shedding the old takes us a few mins, and adapting the new less than a min.
On the 4th Nov 2008, 11 P.M. EST. Barack declared the 44th Pres of USA. It was something that each one had expected & wanted but cautious, and scared of the outcome. Its like one wants to get a Million dollar lottery, but if one actually does its like a miracle and a greater responsibility ahead. An African American President for a country predominantly white (or thought so by those who like to believe).
Let me for a minute forget that three months ago, all I knew was Obama and McCain were in a run for the throne of the most powerful country of the world. And that so much happened in Media from Kenyan brothers, to Obama being a muslim , hockey moms, to Joe the plumber... to Palins clothes and Saturday night life episodes. The crowds, rally's, Fox vs CNN...with a pinch of MSNBC...blah blah blah....the economy in dumps...lalalala...M&A's tra la tra lal tala... Lehman and WAMU..tu tuu tutu...
Look at how in one night there is a change in the feel of the nation. The crowds in Chicago at Midnight, crying, shouting, praying, thanking, teary Oprah ...... all joy, hope...the look in each one's eye... Yes we can! There is feel of positivity. A sense of pride in each one's eye. How HE speaks and people feel it.
Really don't know if Obama is a bubble ready to burst, nor do I know if he ll be able to pull it thru this term and make all that he has said come true.
All I know is the power of a motivated leader. Each one now finds it easy to believe in their dreams, not only African Americans or Asians or Latino but also an average American....It like if u THINK U CAN U CAN.
The law of attraction is all around ...and pray & sincerely hope that this continues..always.
Cheers to all Americans who voted in large number's for Obama, to Ma Cain who went live on TV to take his defeat even before Obama could take his win.
I loved watching this election and feel great that I could make it just in time to watch it in the country it happened.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Crammed Full of thoughts!!
Thoughts are so loud in my head, I can hear them..there is so much that has happened in the past 3 months ( since my move to USA).
Right now, I m struggling with what should be the topic to write on,
Should it be my grandmother's illness,its life threatening disease, her pain, her life.
How I would sit next to her looking deep into her wrinkles to find the person she used to be about 70 years ago (her 20th year). The twinkle in her eyes when she spoke of Nerula’s delhi where she ate samosa for less than an anna, how she and her sister – in – law, would go hanging out in C.P. (I always thought we were the smart generation hanging out!!nerula’s sold samosa’s and chats???? always thought it was a Pizza place…) How she missed so many things in life, her husband……How now she prayed…prayed for her own peaceful death…:( ….How I think that wearing the bangle she gave me keeps her health stable...at times feels very personal but yet ....
Should it be the election in America, the passion of Macc – O- Bamah. How they never loose their energy levels, the controversies, yet the race till the end!!
Wonder how a man of 78(not that I like maccain) is surviving the busy schedules. I am flabbergasted by the way even 8 year old’s here have an opinion about the political parties. But at time’s if I over did on a particular day, kinda over sleep the next day to charge my cells, these guys are campaigning last 22 months. ….Obama’s win and how it might change USA forever…
Or about how my life has changed since the move to USA. What are the things that I miss and what I really value here, the way of Life… a new way of Life?
‘Ummm-err-ikka!!’
Or a life of student away from home making it big in USA… the struggle, the joy, the pain, the patience, the loneliness…,, the fascination… the contentment all at the same time and much…more…..
The economy….. The depression of what it ll be …and how it shud be..
Some times also think of writing about my married life, and how it has gotten better with time….and what goes into making it and what are the things one must avoid and must do!! My own theories.
All of these thoughts are in my head all the time, and like always … they are right or wrong…. I want to write about it ..its like writing help concludes my thoughts.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Bon Identity
This is funny ,the very thought of writing a blog on this makes me confused. And I know a lot of people in this age and time will associate with this.
Since the time I begun to understand caste system ( or did I ever understand!!??), it was always a tough question to answer. After the first few frivolous questions of knowing my name ..etc..people invariably ask you
So Pooja, where are you from?
Delhi.(I always wish it ends here like this 'full stop' does)
Oh okay which part of Delhi?
My relatives live in all part of Delhi - a lot from my dad's side.... actually I visit Delhi every year...that's where everyone is.
So you know ______(god forsaken small eating out joint in Delhi he/she wud ask)
I would err.. well .. we only visit Delhi not so familiar with it... We are from U.P.
Oh OK..I think Pooja u were shy to say u r from U.P- no one wants to be from U.P or Bihar:). People are so rowdy there..
NO no...the loveliest people live there..(now with more affirmation than ever).I m from U.P. cos everyone from my mom's side is there, still meet at an ancestral house in Allahabad every year.
OH well so you know Allahabad..very good that's the place for the maha kumb.. u know_____( again some small place of interest which as usual I don't know)
Well, i only visit it often..Actually I grew up in middle east most part of the recent years..
Aha.. so u r NRI ah!! Now I know the confusion..hmm
So u r Punjabi ..brahmin..or wat?
I m a kayasth.
What is that?
So where do u belong...( I ignore this cos, as much I know we are a cross breed of Brahmin/Kshatriya-- this wud only require more questions to b answered)
I actually lived most part of my growing years in Bangalore..so I m familiar with the place ..food malls..eat outs etc.. I can even speak kannada..(with a sorta pride, little do I know that nor the kannadiga's or kayasth care )
Bangaluru ah! yes ur surname also sounds so much from the south ' srivastava'
Oh ho so u r kannadiga..
NOooooooooooo..
You know Pooja I thought your were Punjabi.( this is like killer kinda lines....outta no where..)
Here's the thing Mr.!!!
I am an Indian with a passport made in Muscat, with a resident permit of USA, born in U.P, lived and got schooled at in Kolkota, Jamshedpur, Delhi,Bangalore, Nagpur,Jamnagar,Bahrain, Muscat etc..right now living in USA dunno till when. I speak hindi and english at home. Am a kayasth - who r the decedents from Lord Chitragupta. Got married to a kayasth from M.P bhopal (know tis place fairly well now).
So you decide where I m from..
All I ever hear after this, arrey u shud ve just said ur dad's in the army or IFS.( Look at the brains wow:). What amazing calculation)
Haahahah, and trust me beyond this I never have the energy to explain.
Just nod my head.
How shud I again tell them that Dad changes his jobs too:)
Like father like daughter..but funny that he started this trend 30 years ago!!
So what he is from army or he is in civil services??
Ignore...
Ignore..
Pretend not to hear or start another conversation.
You know what scares me the most is the identity of the next generation.:)
To know better abt Kayasth refer:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kayastha
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Even when things are low!
Ek Din Bik Jayega, Maati Ke Mol
Jag Mein Reh Jayenge Pyare Tere Bol
Dooje Ke Hothon Ko Dekar Apne Geet
Koi Nishani Chhod, Phir Duniya Se gol
Jag Mein Reh Jayenge Pyare Tere Bol
Dooje Ke Hothon Ko Dekar Apne Geet
Koi Nishani Chhod, Phir Duniya Se gol
Was really low till I came across this on my sisters blogspot... this is somethin that our mom used to sing when she was in a real gud mood..she taugh me the whole song..and lot more songs that keep me going in life!
There is something abt being a strong woman that confuses the normal being..
We dont look for shoulders..we are the pillars,
We dont cry when we are sad, we cry when we are happy,
We dont plead or request, we are much above that,
Its not in us to ask for what we want, but make sure its we who make it happen,
We are never coy or sweet coz that doesnt solve our issues!
We are wat we are , and thats its all abt...
No problems if u didnt understand this ...cos u never will..and if you did welcome to our club...
Am sure gudia(laks) knows what I m talking abt;)
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Siblings or Sappling!
Siblings or Sappling!
CHARU...this name has been attached with me since I was almost 4 years old. It does give me feeling of love everytime I mention it. They say what ever we say creates a wave in our head and this one sure does create a sweet wave.This person dates back long long time ago ...someone who has been with me since time immemorial. And trust me, will be there till time is in itself immemorial. We had never been seperated till I was 17 years old. We had the same room.. two crazy study tables as we grew up, one wardrobe, one big bed, two pink quilt....pink walls...posters.... small t.v., a music system, a walk man.... few dolls, one cycle (we used to share almost everything). Sometime I wonder if I can ever do that with someone else..(the possessive person that I m).We have been really different since I know both of us. The only similarity is that we are born to the same parents, yet there are people who see us together and say we 'are u twins?' (and someplace inside we do feel very happy though on the outside we dont like it) She is thin (thin thin thin...very thin so thin that people used to tell me ...does ur mommmy love you more, so she feeds u more...... aggggggrrrr) she become taller(She had been short all these years and suddenly one day she decides to over shoot me), she got diff features, straight hair, well this is just the start, if we compare... we are poles apart. Lets put it this way, am the home science girl and she is the computer science girl....Sometimes I wonder how, eating the same food, living in the same house, with one set of parents how did we turned out like this.We had gre8 times together, remember once we started this secret seven club, after reading the Enid Blyton's series..then we were beth ... fatty...all charaters of famous five etc etc...There are so many memories that I have with her....my brain is fighting over how many to put.So was it such a smooth ride, no...oooo...We did fight, and I got punished cause... she was so small... thin, weak... aaah doesnot look like so when she pulls my hair or when we fight with our quilts... or kill each other with pillows... if even one of those pillows had iron instead of cotton..I wud not ve been writing this blog today!(even though at times we wud do anything to kill each other, wen it came to someone else we were one ...."ONE". Even if it was our parents;)) We faught coz she never liked her things being touched. She was so perfect at keeping things, her shoes never became dirty, her uniforms lasted the whole year, the cover of the books were perfect for all semesters, as for me, shoes would be dirty by half day, books be torn in three weeks, uniforms wud tear... wud dirty all on their own.Though as we grew up, I have changed so SO much.. I am really shocked myself..and so has she.. And the most imp diff between us, hmmmm.... she came first in class.. and i came last but one;)(there is such a long story to our parent teacher meetings, that i refrain from sharing them - but i guess anyone can get an idea)When I was younger I used to cry in the nights thinking 'Oh god tomorrow morning in school we are gonna be away for 8 hours" .I was don for anyone in school who beat her or blast her or wat ever.. it cud be a girl, boy, teacher ..principal... Was a possessive elder sister, and the same goes for me now.She was such a special kid and even is now that there was no one anyone could pass through her.Year 1999.. I hate this year it got me away from everyone I loved....this year saw me complete my 12th and suddenly outta no where things changed forever.We were internet pals, letter writing sisters...ppl told me she was lost without me and suddenly out of no where I had lots of room mates...Over the years, things changed more and more and we got further away in terms of distance, we wud thank god if we were in the same country. But what a fine dame she she has turned out to be...she is now a full fledged engineer with a fine degrees... done lots of things to make the family proud.Time moved on and here am 2.5 decades later feeling the same way about her since I was 5 ....so many room mates have come and gone but none to beat her!! Such is the strong bond of sibiling.One thing I realised that we were not normal siblings we were sapplings from the same bud...This is for TIGRESS CHAKZWAR!
CHARU...this name has been attached with me since I was almost 4 years old. It does give me feeling of love everytime I mention it. They say what ever we say creates a wave in our head and this one sure does create a sweet wave.This person dates back long long time ago ...someone who has been with me since time immemorial. And trust me, will be there till time is in itself immemorial. We had never been seperated till I was 17 years old. We had the same room.. two crazy study tables as we grew up, one wardrobe, one big bed, two pink quilt....pink walls...posters.... small t.v., a music system, a walk man.... few dolls, one cycle (we used to share almost everything). Sometime I wonder if I can ever do that with someone else..(the possessive person that I m).We have been really different since I know both of us. The only similarity is that we are born to the same parents, yet there are people who see us together and say we 'are u twins?' (and someplace inside we do feel very happy though on the outside we dont like it) She is thin (thin thin thin...very thin so thin that people used to tell me ...does ur mommmy love you more, so she feeds u more...... aggggggrrrr) she become taller(She had been short all these years and suddenly one day she decides to over shoot me), she got diff features, straight hair, well this is just the start, if we compare... we are poles apart. Lets put it this way, am the home science girl and she is the computer science girl....Sometimes I wonder how, eating the same food, living in the same house, with one set of parents how did we turned out like this.We had gre8 times together, remember once we started this secret seven club, after reading the Enid Blyton's series..then we were beth ... fatty...all charaters of famous five etc etc...There are so many memories that I have with her....my brain is fighting over how many to put.So was it such a smooth ride, no...oooo...We did fight, and I got punished cause... she was so small... thin, weak... aaah doesnot look like so when she pulls my hair or when we fight with our quilts... or kill each other with pillows... if even one of those pillows had iron instead of cotton..I wud not ve been writing this blog today!(even though at times we wud do anything to kill each other, wen it came to someone else we were one ...."ONE". Even if it was our parents;)) We faught coz she never liked her things being touched. She was so perfect at keeping things, her shoes never became dirty, her uniforms lasted the whole year, the cover of the books were perfect for all semesters, as for me, shoes would be dirty by half day, books be torn in three weeks, uniforms wud tear... wud dirty all on their own.Though as we grew up, I have changed so SO much.. I am really shocked myself..and so has she.. And the most imp diff between us, hmmmm.... she came first in class.. and i came last but one;)(there is such a long story to our parent teacher meetings, that i refrain from sharing them - but i guess anyone can get an idea)When I was younger I used to cry in the nights thinking 'Oh god tomorrow morning in school we are gonna be away for 8 hours" .I was don for anyone in school who beat her or blast her or wat ever.. it cud be a girl, boy, teacher ..principal... Was a possessive elder sister, and the same goes for me now.She was such a special kid and even is now that there was no one anyone could pass through her.Year 1999.. I hate this year it got me away from everyone I loved....this year saw me complete my 12th and suddenly outta no where things changed forever.We were internet pals, letter writing sisters...ppl told me she was lost without me and suddenly out of no where I had lots of room mates...Over the years, things changed more and more and we got further away in terms of distance, we wud thank god if we were in the same country. But what a fine dame she she has turned out to be...she is now a full fledged engineer with a fine degrees... done lots of things to make the family proud.Time moved on and here am 2.5 decades later feeling the same way about her since I was 5 ....so many room mates have come and gone but none to beat her!! Such is the strong bond of sibiling.One thing I realised that we were not normal siblings we were sapplings from the same bud...This is for TIGRESS CHAKZWAR!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
For even the lions who fall in love, see this time!!
A few days ago my good friend broke off with his sweetheart. It was almost a 4 year old relationship, reason unknown, cause unknown….post break off results known. Break off’s are always tough, we all know that.
The tears, the loss, the pain, the guilt, frustrations…. etc the list can go on. In this situation some people drink and cry others cry and drink. Some just go numb…some pretend like it never happened…any which way sorrow does hit you big time.
But why is it so, Does one feel that they have been unable to keep a promise or is it a loss of unconditional dependence on someone so close. That some whom you call on first for everything, someone you write to, someone you talk to all the time, (even when she’s is not around), someone who becomes the centre of your world. You live for her dreams, rather now your dream is her dream. The worst part is nothing affects you while in a relationship, inflation, stock market, political crisis, mismanagement, global warming J etc... Even things like distances between the two, flaws of the other person etc is over looked. Man it’s like someone has cast a spell that cannot be broken. In midst of crowd you are in your own world, when you are alone you are with her…… She makes you complete.
Slowly you want this feeling forever…..and if you are Indian, you crave for security all the time (you know going off the topic but I feel b’coz we were ruled over by so many years… We just need to be secure all the freaking time…we crave for tag line- “name” to all that we enjoy, cause we have learnt that nothing comes for free.) And so Marriage seems like the next best option. The guilt of being so happy without a name to relationship is not in our system. We would like to tell the whole world, that another one of our inborn traits- tell the world and then later blame the world... I don’t know somehow the conventions keep us bound today also.
Now, love is not something that knows all these things, it’s not Indian... Asian, it’s not American, its love. and its free…its infinite…..and there are no limits…and so marriage is not something that might seal it..and give you the license to keep you happy forever.. In most break off’s one party is saddened by the behavior of another, am yet to come across a case where both the people have mutually agreed to move on…
Hmmm all this known we still want to keep possessive about our love for anyone, be it a lover, children, mother, sister, and friend anyone…we seal it…its mine.. I want it.. I need to keep it.. no one can touch it…. But why should one do that….???
There is a jazzy very cliché saying’ if you love some set him free if it comes back to you it is yours or it was never yours’ blah blah blah…..
So why do people move on from one person to another…
I know of a few people who find it easy to fall in love with anyone and anything…be it a friend, or a place or a thing… somehow these people love everything and they attention time spans are short..these kinds, just love to be in love, and when they do, they do it unconditionally, full heart into it, and then move on to a next more loveable thing.. I call it the free heart..and I guess the colour is green..for abundance.
The other kind finds it hard to love, very hard, they are like coconuts…. No way can you get in…and once you do there no way outJ.
This type generally falls specifically for something’s only, they have very specific requirement which most people don’t fulfill…so this type generally is not generally moved by emotions…Once they find someone they keep it forever, attention spans are long.. call it the strict heart, the colour is yellow…medium spicy ;)
The last kind is mixture of both, finds love easily; keeps love well, doesn’t fall for everything, but yet has a penchant for a few things..I call this the lover’s heart…and its red for obvious reason. The attention spans here are long though, some times these get attracted to other things…;)
Hmmm so where am I heading with this now, its just to say that all sorts of people make this world. And they fall in love.. My younger sister Charu say ‘ A fish and a frog can never fall in love and if they do, they can never make a home. So if you are falling in love with a very different species in any manner then you ll be sure not to make home though you must enjoy while it lasts.
One of my major observations post break off is that it takes a toll on ones body, meaning one will fall sick sooner and be sick in an uncanny manner. For e.g.; the viral will take longer to get alrite, cough and cold will last more than a quarter. I understand this a part of energy concentration, that means that one person is only defending his emotions.
I feel really sad when ever I hear such episodes, though there is silver lining.
Life gives you opportunities, and every opportunity comes with learning. The next relationship you are more cautious…
So cheers guys it’s not such a bad deal for you...
Move on in life….There are lot more things to look up to…And at least your phone bills are low. :)
The tears, the loss, the pain, the guilt, frustrations…. etc the list can go on. In this situation some people drink and cry others cry and drink. Some just go numb…some pretend like it never happened…any which way sorrow does hit you big time.
But why is it so, Does one feel that they have been unable to keep a promise or is it a loss of unconditional dependence on someone so close. That some whom you call on first for everything, someone you write to, someone you talk to all the time, (even when she’s is not around), someone who becomes the centre of your world. You live for her dreams, rather now your dream is her dream. The worst part is nothing affects you while in a relationship, inflation, stock market, political crisis, mismanagement, global warming J etc... Even things like distances between the two, flaws of the other person etc is over looked. Man it’s like someone has cast a spell that cannot be broken. In midst of crowd you are in your own world, when you are alone you are with her…… She makes you complete.
Slowly you want this feeling forever…..and if you are Indian, you crave for security all the time (you know going off the topic but I feel b’coz we were ruled over by so many years… We just need to be secure all the freaking time…we crave for tag line- “name” to all that we enjoy, cause we have learnt that nothing comes for free.) And so Marriage seems like the next best option. The guilt of being so happy without a name to relationship is not in our system. We would like to tell the whole world, that another one of our inborn traits- tell the world and then later blame the world... I don’t know somehow the conventions keep us bound today also.
Now, love is not something that knows all these things, it’s not Indian... Asian, it’s not American, its love. and its free…its infinite…..and there are no limits…and so marriage is not something that might seal it..and give you the license to keep you happy forever.. In most break off’s one party is saddened by the behavior of another, am yet to come across a case where both the people have mutually agreed to move on…
Hmmm all this known we still want to keep possessive about our love for anyone, be it a lover, children, mother, sister, and friend anyone…we seal it…its mine.. I want it.. I need to keep it.. no one can touch it…. But why should one do that….???
There is a jazzy very cliché saying’ if you love some set him free if it comes back to you it is yours or it was never yours’ blah blah blah…..
So why do people move on from one person to another…
I know of a few people who find it easy to fall in love with anyone and anything…be it a friend, or a place or a thing… somehow these people love everything and they attention time spans are short..these kinds, just love to be in love, and when they do, they do it unconditionally, full heart into it, and then move on to a next more loveable thing.. I call it the free heart..and I guess the colour is green..for abundance.
The other kind finds it hard to love, very hard, they are like coconuts…. No way can you get in…and once you do there no way outJ.
This type generally falls specifically for something’s only, they have very specific requirement which most people don’t fulfill…so this type generally is not generally moved by emotions…Once they find someone they keep it forever, attention spans are long.. call it the strict heart, the colour is yellow…medium spicy ;)
The last kind is mixture of both, finds love easily; keeps love well, doesn’t fall for everything, but yet has a penchant for a few things..I call this the lover’s heart…and its red for obvious reason. The attention spans here are long though, some times these get attracted to other things…;)
Hmmm so where am I heading with this now, its just to say that all sorts of people make this world. And they fall in love.. My younger sister Charu say ‘ A fish and a frog can never fall in love and if they do, they can never make a home. So if you are falling in love with a very different species in any manner then you ll be sure not to make home though you must enjoy while it lasts.
One of my major observations post break off is that it takes a toll on ones body, meaning one will fall sick sooner and be sick in an uncanny manner. For e.g.; the viral will take longer to get alrite, cough and cold will last more than a quarter. I understand this a part of energy concentration, that means that one person is only defending his emotions.
I feel really sad when ever I hear such episodes, though there is silver lining.
Life gives you opportunities, and every opportunity comes with learning. The next relationship you are more cautious…
So cheers guys it’s not such a bad deal for you...
Move on in life….There are lot more things to look up to…And at least your phone bills are low. :)
Monday, June 16, 2008
For Love or Money???
Hmm... I m itching to write so much about this beautiful episode, not only cause it taught some amazing truths about life but also cause it brings out a essence in my personality that I m not aware of.
Like always travel gives me the best learnings in life, in spite of a hectic schedule, bad toilets and lack of sleep, I love goofing around.
In a village not far away from the town, there is family of farmers..at first look folk like us are known to be judgemental about how they look and sure these villagers are out to attract money from us. It takes a while to understand that they just want to be associated with us. Though here also we think its their need not ours.
It was my first time interaction with these people and I knew for sure that this summer day is gonna get longer than ever.
We were surrounded by people of these sorts and they were trying to be overly protective about us, irritates you, if you are one of those urban independent type of person.
Soon the villagers told us stories of nights without lights, the heat the lack of water from narmada, commercialisation. Some girls told me about how they crave to wear T shirts and jeans and drive two wheelers around town.
I wondered if they were living in this era or two era before....Gosh you need to ask some one to wear clothes of your choice errr.... not someone... the whole village.
Started getting along with a girl who had finished her 12th and didnt want to leave her parents to away to study in the town. And guess what course she wanted to do...BBM..
(they know abt these courses in villiages when they cant drive their own vehical, what a contrast society)....apparently she had a boyfriend...wahla man this was getting real interesting we become friends in a matter of time. In all my four hour travel, I wished so hard that I could give her something.
But I had no gifts, no bracelets no necklaces. Man was dying to give her something so that she could keep that as a gift and as a memory.
I cursed myself so much for not carrying anything for this poor girl. In fact in my head it was clear that from next time , I d atleast carry chocolets..We went to village temple where if you wish something it comes true.
The girl also told me about how one can never refuse tea at any house there and also that black cats are real unlucky. And tales of good and bad..Result being we had four cups of tea in less than an hour:(
Well at the end of the trip we were invited home for a short hault before we moved forward back to the city.
The small house was concreate and wahla it was the house of the same girl I met, she was there with a whole ging bang of girls to welcome me at her house To my surprise there were 6 sarees beautiful ones arranged by them to be gifted to me...........
Me???
She ll give me something.....this poor village girl...
I was amazed by the love and hospitality shown to me by those people one that i will never forget...
I did chose a saree for myself though not all, but more than that as a human i was indebted to them for the most unconditional love.
Hmm..and so what do I give in return....I have nothing on me...
It seemed such an irony...A nice watch on my wrist looked at me and said ..Pooja I am ready to go..and i took it out and gave it to her...
I had tears in my eyes,.uncontrollable ones...felt stupid also...
But couldnot control myself..
Like always travel gives me the best learnings in life, in spite of a hectic schedule, bad toilets and lack of sleep, I love goofing around.
In a village not far away from the town, there is family of farmers..at first look folk like us are known to be judgemental about how they look and sure these villagers are out to attract money from us. It takes a while to understand that they just want to be associated with us. Though here also we think its their need not ours.
It was my first time interaction with these people and I knew for sure that this summer day is gonna get longer than ever.
We were surrounded by people of these sorts and they were trying to be overly protective about us, irritates you, if you are one of those urban independent type of person.
Soon the villagers told us stories of nights without lights, the heat the lack of water from narmada, commercialisation. Some girls told me about how they crave to wear T shirts and jeans and drive two wheelers around town.
I wondered if they were living in this era or two era before....Gosh you need to ask some one to wear clothes of your choice errr.... not someone... the whole village.
Started getting along with a girl who had finished her 12th and didnt want to leave her parents to away to study in the town. And guess what course she wanted to do...BBM..
(they know abt these courses in villiages when they cant drive their own vehical, what a contrast society)....apparently she had a boyfriend...wahla man this was getting real interesting we become friends in a matter of time. In all my four hour travel, I wished so hard that I could give her something.
But I had no gifts, no bracelets no necklaces. Man was dying to give her something so that she could keep that as a gift and as a memory.
I cursed myself so much for not carrying anything for this poor girl. In fact in my head it was clear that from next time , I d atleast carry chocolets..We went to village temple where if you wish something it comes true.
The girl also told me about how one can never refuse tea at any house there and also that black cats are real unlucky. And tales of good and bad..Result being we had four cups of tea in less than an hour:(
Well at the end of the trip we were invited home for a short hault before we moved forward back to the city.
The small house was concreate and wahla it was the house of the same girl I met, she was there with a whole ging bang of girls to welcome me at her house To my surprise there were 6 sarees beautiful ones arranged by them to be gifted to me...........
Me???
She ll give me something.....this poor village girl...
I was amazed by the love and hospitality shown to me by those people one that i will never forget...
I did chose a saree for myself though not all, but more than that as a human i was indebted to them for the most unconditional love.
Hmm..and so what do I give in return....I have nothing on me...
It seemed such an irony...A nice watch on my wrist looked at me and said ..Pooja I am ready to go..and i took it out and gave it to her...
I had tears in my eyes,.uncontrollable ones...felt stupid also...
But couldnot control myself..
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